I Can't Keep Running
by baileybeagle
Summary: I ran faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past. Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when something happens. How will he deal with it? Rated M for things that my happen later in the story. There is DENSI IN THIS STORY!
1. A Dream

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**AUTHOR'S N0TE: **

**I'm not sure where this story is going, but I had it in my mind and had to write it.**

**CHAPTER 1: A Dream...**

_**DEEKS P.O.V.**_

_**DREAM * I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.**_

_**Things that had happened to me...**_

_**Running to try and escape the past, but it's still in my thoughts day after day and year after year. **_

_**Finally I reached the beach and then I tripped, falling face down in the sand.**_

_**I sit up after falling and stare out at the ocean. The nice sunny day seems to mock me, because the ocean seems so calm and peaceful right now. **_

_**When my mind and my life are not.**_

_**I know...**_

_**I can't keep running! I have to face my past and my nighmares!**_

_**I wanted to, but at the same time I was scared...not that I would admit that to anyone.**_

_**Everyone seems to think I always joke around and do not have a serious side. **_

_**If only they knew the truth...**_

_**The mask I put up to hide from the past. **_

_**Some things are hard to remember and other things...they're just to painful to think about!**_

_**A lot of memories a blur, others...**_

_**They are as sharp as a knife cutting into my skin and it hurts so much. I just want to forget what happened in the past.**_

_**For so long I have kept the secret of wanting to die from the pain, behind jokes.**_

_**In my mind a lot of what Gordon John Brandel put me through was a nightmare, so at times it didn't seem real. **_

_**Now though...**_

_**I can't say that anymore, because...**_

_**It did happen and it was real!**_

_**What he put me through was torture, but I learned how to survive... * END DREAM**_

I had not been sleeping well, because of nightmares I had been having.

I would start out having the greatest dream and if Kensi knew about these dreams...well, let's just say she would shoot me.

Because for a long time I have been dreaming of Kensi and the future I want with her.

Only recently though...

My dreams would start with her, but then something would happen. My great dream then became a dream of Gordon John Brandel and what he had done to me.

I heard something and realized my phone was ringing. I leaned over to grab it with a groan, when I looked it read...KENSI.

It was three in the morning when I looked at the time, so I wondered why she would be calling me...


	2. The Reason For The Call

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 2:The Reason For The Call...**

**DEEKS' P.O.V.  
**

"Kens, I was just thinking about you." I said after answering the phone. "It was just a dream." I heard Kensi say and now I was curious.

"Dreaming aout me, Princess?" I asked with a smile. "Not what you're thinking, Deeks." Came her reply. "What happened in your dream?" I asked. "You were k-killed." She told me and she didn't sound like the tough, Kensi Blye that I know.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked and I heard her take a breath.

"It was confusing. We were supposed to be undercover as a couple and I guess he made us. He took off running and when we followed...he ran until there was no one around. Then he turned and shot you. He pointed the gun at me, but I shot him. He dropped to the ground dead. I put pressure to the wound on your chest and yelled at Eric to call an ambulance. I-I told you to stay with me. Sam and Callen showed up, by the time the ambulance arrived...you were dead. I had be-begged you to stay with me and you left me anyway." I heard Kensi crying.

"It's okay, Kens...I'm okay. I'll be over in a few minutes." I said and before Kensi could protest I hung up. __

I got dressed, then after grabbing my keys and cell phone I headed out the door.

It wasn't long before I was pulling into her driveway.

**KENSI'S HOUSE...**

Then I was knocking on her door. When she opened it, I could tell she had been crying and this was not like the, Kensi Blye I know.

"Deeks, you didn't have to come over. ." Kensi told me. "Okay, I guess I'll just go then." I said. "Come on in." Kensi replied rolling her eyes and stepped back to let me in. "I don't know...first you tell me to leave and then you tell me to come in. Are you trying to confuse me, Fern?" I joked.

I was surprised when she grabbed my hand and pulled me in the door. It was my chance to tell her how I felt, but I couldn't...it wasn't right yet. I don't know that the time will ever be right.

"Didn't know you wanted me." I said with a smile.

She went into the kitchen and came back with a couple of beers, handing one to me.

"Thanks for coming over." Kensi said at last, but didn't look at me. "I would never pass up a chance to see you." Before I realized it and she looked at me.

I wanted to reach over to take her hand or lean over and kiss her, but something held me back.

"Is something wrong, Deeks?" Kensi inquired.

It was my chance to tell her, but I couldn't.

I loved being undercover as Justin and Melissa. It just felt right living in the same house and being married...even it the marriage had been an OP.

I knew and I know she did to, even though we denied it to everyone that there was a...'thing'...between us. There was just one thing that stood in my way...

'FEAR!'

I couldn't stand it if she rejected me.

I risk my life as a cop every day, but I can't tell...

Kensi Marie Blye how feel.

"Deeks?" Kensi's voice cut into my thoughts. "What, Princess?" I asked her with a smile. "You went quiet after I asked you if something was wrong?" Kensi replied. "Everything's fine. Why wouldn't it be?" I asked her. "Okay, now I know something is wrong. You never let me get away with saying things are fine. Just tell me...you know you can tell me anything." She said and looked worried about me.

"Not everything." I mumbled looking at the floor. "What? Deeks, look at me." She said.

Knowing it would be a misteak if I did...I looked into her eyes anyway. Then I made my decision knowing, things would change between us and she could kill me for what I was about to do, but I had to take a risk. It would be worth it though...

I leaned over and kissed her.

This was not an undercover kiss...this was a kiss to tell her what I wanted her to know. At first I could tell how surprised, before she pulled back and looked at me.

"D-Deeks." Kensi said. "S-sorry, I should go." I said, getting up to leave.

I had my hand on the knob...

"Deeks, wait! You can't just kiss me like that and then leave." Kensi said and I wasn't sure what I heard in her voice.

Then I felt her behind me and I was afraid to look at her.

"What was that kiss about?" Kensi asked. "Don't you know?" I asked. " I want to hear it from you." I heard. "I-I don't know what that kiss was about." I lied. "You're lying...tell me." She begged and I looked at her, because let's face it...

Kensi Blye dose not beg.

"Our 'thing.'" I said simply. "Our-our 'thing'? Deeks..." Kensi began, before I closed the door and cut her off.

"Kens, there is a 'thing' between us and I know we deny it to everyone. It's there and I know you know that to." I told her.

"Deeks, I can't...it wouldn't work." Kensi said and I could hear the fear in her voice. "Why? Why wouldn't it work? I will never willing leave you and I would never hurt you." I said and looked away.

This is what I had been afraid of.

"It wouldn't work because every day we risk our lives and if there was anything between us...it could effect how we work together out in the field. It would distract us at work." Kensi said gently. "How would it be any different from what we do now? Haven't you noticed that since we met and after we became partners...we banter and flirt? Fern, it could make us better." I told her. "And if something happened to break us up? We wouldn't be able to work together and you would end up going back to the LAPD...I would lose you as a partner and a friend. I don't want to lose that...why can't you understand?" She asked.

"Because when we lived together as Melissa and Justin it felt right. I know it was an undercover OP, but you can't tell me you haven't felt it or wondered what it would be like for that to be real." I told her and I could hear in my voice I was begging her to understand.

I looked up to see her closing her eyes and noticed a few tears slip down her face. She had let go of my hand and I reached over to wipe the tears away.

"Deeks, please. I can't...please understand." She begged. "Princess, I can't help how I feel. There is no one else like you...Just give us a chance. I already told you I won't leave you and I know that you know...I will never hurt you." I told her and I could feel the tears in my own eyes.

I knew they were tears because she was rejecting me.

"I can't." She whispered. "Fine, I'll see you at work." I said and this time I left.

**AUTHOR'S N0TE: **

**Sorry, it's taken me a few days to update this story.**

**I ment to work on it yesterday, but I was so tired and pretty much slept yesterday away. I've been staying awake all hours of the night and I guess it finally caught up with me. Last night I finally got a good night's sleep.**


	3. We're Broken

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 3: We're Broken...**

**DEEKS' P.O.V.  
**

After getting in my car, I put the key in the ingition. Instead of starting the car though...

I just sat there. Putting my head against the steering wheel and tried to stop the tears. It wouldn't do any good to cry over something I had wanted for a long time, but would never have.

'Why did she have to be so stubborn?'

I gave a bitter laugh, because that was just one of the many things I loved about her.

She was beautiful, tough, bad ass Blye. Yet, she could never let her guard down long enough for someone to love her.

She didn't want to be with me. I could tell she was scared of getting hurt and truthfully so was I, but I had taken a chance...

I had taken a risk with my heart...only to have her shoot me down. Now things would never be the same between us. Because I had to be stupid and try to change things.

Finally I started to car and headed home.

**DEEKS HOUSE...**

When I got inside Monty greeted me at the door. I took him for a short walk then when I got back I fell on to my bed. I wasn't going to get anymore sleep, because by now it was five in the mourning and I would have to be up in a while to get ready for work.

Work...the place where I had to face, Kensi.

'Could I face her after what happened? Would we ever be able to work things out?'

I tried to close my eyes, even if it would only be for a few minutes. It didn't work, because every time I closed my eyes I saw, Kensi.

**OSP...  
A FEW HOURS LATER...**

I had just gotten out of my car when Kensi pulled up and parked her's.

Her eyes met mine in a glare and I just knew this was going to be a bad day.

"We need to talk." Kensi getting out of her car and slamming the door.

I gave a bitter laugh.

"Right, because that went real well at three thirty this morning." I said sarcastically.

"Deeks, I..." Kensi began. "You called me at three in the morning because you had a nightmare and when I showed up at your door...you could have sent me home, but you invited me in!" I yelled turning to face her now.

"I called you to see if you were alive, Deeks! I didn't ask you to come to my door at three in the morning! You told me you were coming and hung up before I could tell you not to!" Kensi yelled back. "Really, Kensi? What's wrong with you trying to call me back and telling me not to come?" I asked.

"I didn't ask you to come over! I didn't ask you to kiss me and I didn't ask you to change things between us! Why, Deeks? Why did you have to push it?" Kensi yelled.

"I kissed you because you asked me what was wrong, Kensi. You wouldn't let it go when I told you every thing was f..." I began. "Because you never let it go when I tell you every thing is fine." Kensi shot back.

"Kensi, I told you that I can't help how I feel. Princess..." I stopped. "Don't call me, princess. I am not a character in a fairy tale." Kensi growled at me. "You never minded me calling you princess before or how about...

Wonder women, Sugar Bear, Fern, babe? You've called me hubby and you can't say it was because we were undercover it was after the case! The kiss you gave me and said it was a cover kiss...you can't say you didn't feel anything when _YOU _kissed me!" I yelled.

"Even if I did, Deeks...it wouldn't change anything! This is exactly what I was afraid would happen if we..." Kensi began. "Kensi, I was scared to risk my heart and tell you how I feel, but I did it anyway. You don't have to be afraid of me. I'm not going to hurt you or leave you. I'm not, Jack." I said and instantly regretted it.

She slapped me hard across the face and I couldn't believe it, looking at her...I could see anger mixed with shock at what she had just done.

"That was low, Deeks. This has nothing to do with, Jack." She hissed and turned to leave. "I think it dose, Kensi!" I said catching up to her.

"You had no right to bring, Jack into this conversation!" She told me.

When she looked at me I could see the tears,as well as the anger and hurt.

"You're so scared of getting hurt that...that you're not willing to give us a chance and that's all I ask for. A chance to see where things will go between us. I have fallen in love with you...I-I can't help it." I said and walking around her I walked into OSP.

**KENSI'S P.O.V.**

I couldn't believe that Martin Deeks had sunk so low and brough Jack into the conversation.

I was afraid of this happening and wondered if we would be able to fix things between us. We were broken...

I did love him, but if we started dating my dream would come true and and I would lose him forever. I wanted to give us a chance, I knew he was right.

I was scared of getting hurt and of him leaving me. Now there was a good chance that he night if we didn't fix what was broken...he might leave.

I walked inside and made my way to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror and cried.

I knew it was up to me to fix things, no matter how scared I was...I couldn't lose him forever just because I was scared.

"Why did he have to change things?" I yelled out loud.

After a few minutes I quit crying and after cleaning my face...I made my way to the bullpen. Ignoring Deeks I sat down as Callen and Sam looked up. They must have noticed how tense things were between me and Deeks.

"You okay, Kens?" Callen asked. "Fine." I replied and got started on the paperwork in front of me.

I couldn't focus and when I looked at Deeks, he looked sad. I pulled up my instant message...

_Deeks, we need to talk. I want to fix things between us...I can't stand fighting with you. _

Deeks looked over at me and replied.

_I don't think I can, Kensi. I can't stand another fight._

_I don't want another fight, but we need to talk before we have to go out in the field again. We need to have each other's back._

He seemed to think for a minute and I saw him hesitate, before...

_Okay, let's go out in the courtyard._

Then I saw him get up and I followed him out into the courtyard.


	4. Fixing What Is Broken

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 4: Fixing What Is Broken...**

**Kensi's ****P.O.V.  
THE COURTYARD...**

We sat down against the building and for a minute we sat there in silence.

"Kens, I'm sorry I brought up, Jack. I-I din't think about what I was saying." Deeks whispered and I looked over at him. "When you kissed me...I was surprised and shocked. I didn't know what to say, I was scared of things changing and..." I began.

"It's okay to let your guard down once in a while and let someone love you. It dose not make you weak, I know you're scared...I am to. I told you I want to give us a chance, we can't let fear stand in our way. If we did we wouldn't be able to go out every day and do what we do...get justice for those who need it." He said looking me in the eye.

I saw the redness of his cheek and reached over to touch it.

"Dose it still hurt?" I asked and he gave a soft laugh.

'God, I loved that sound.'

"You got me good. I guess a part of the reason we were fighting at three this morning and earlier is...I haven't been sleeping. Lack of sleep just got to both of us." He replied and I was curious. "Why haven't you been sleeping?" I inquired.

"Well...I start out having a good dream of course you're in it..." Deeks began and I raised my eyebrow. "Do I even want to know?" I asked him. "You already know, because I told you...ou-our 'thing' a..." Deeks began and I punched him in the shoulder. "Hey, you asked." He told me with a smile and I had to smile back. "You said it starts out as a good dream...dose it turn into a bad dream?" I asked him and he nodded.

"I start to dream about what my dad did to me. Then I dream about the day I shot him, but in my dream it turns out different. Instead of me shooting him...he gets the gun away from me, shoots me and I die." He said quietly. "Oh, Marty." Was all I could think to say.

"So are we okay now, Partner?" Deeks asked me. "I was going to ask you the same thing." I told him. "I am if you are. So do you want to give us..." Deeks began.

"I don't know...I'll have to think about it." I told him fighting back a smile and he looked sad again. "Deeks, I'm kidding." I said and this time it was my turn to lean over and kiss him.

We pulled a part, because lack of oxgen.

"Dose this mean I can call you...

Fern, babe, Sugar Bear, wonder women and princess?" Deeks asked and I shrugged.

After a minute we walked back inside and sat down at our desk, both of us smiling.

**THE BULLPEN...**

"I guess you two worked things out." Callen said.

"Yeah, I told her about my dr..." Deeks began. "Don't you dare tell them." I warned with a glare at him and his grin got bigger. "Why not, Fern?" He asked.

"Because I'm sure we don't want to know." Sam replied and I nodded. "You're right you don't." I said, just as there was a whistle and we looked up to see Eric. "We have a case!" He called.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I can't believe how quick this story is going...I nelgected my other three stories, because I had so many ideas for this one.**


	5. This Can't Be A Coinidence

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I had a better idea for the end of the chapter...you might like it.**

**CHAPTER 5: This Can't Be A Coinidence...**

**Kensi's ****P.O.v.  
OPS...**

"This is...Marine Gunnery Sergeant Clayton Douglas. Him and his wife went missing three days ago...there were signs of a struggle. There has been not ransom demmand. There has also been several other couples who have gone missing...each couple has a Marine in the family. Brother, father, uncle, cousin...that's all we know at this point. " Eric explained.

I just stared at the picture...this couldn't be happening and it couldn't be a coinidence.

This was exactly what how my dream started...right down to the Marine Gunnery Sergeant.

"Kens?" I heard Marty ask from beside me. "What?" I questioned my eyes not leaving the screen, but I already knew what Marty was going to say.

"Are you okay?" He inquired and I looked at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." I told him and tried to smile. "No, you're not, Princess. What's wrong?" He pressed. "This is just how my dream started." I said and left Ops heading for the gun range.

"What dream?" I heard Nell ask as the doors closed behind me.

**SHOOTING RANGE...**

I was in the shooting range for less then a minute, when the door opened and Marty walked in before I started to shoot.

"Kens, why didn't you tell me how your dream started?" He wanted to know turning me to face him. "I-I don't know." I replied and he took my hands in his. "We'll make sure this dose not turn out like your dream. I won't leave you, okay?" He asked.

**DEEKS' P.O.V.**

"How?" Her voice said she was pleading for an answer.

I was unsure how to answer her question, because the truth was...I wasn't sure.

"Because I'm always going to keep fighting to stay beside you and I'm not going to leave you...no matter what. Besides, Fern, you would miss seeing me everyday and there is no way I could do that to you."I said with a smile and just as I knew she would she smiled back.

"I guess we better get back up to Ops and find out the plan." Kensi suggested and started to walk toward the door.

One of my hands still in hers I pulled her back and when she looked at me...I couldn't help but kiss her.

**OPS...**

Callen, Sam, Hetty, Nell and Eric looked at us when we returned.

"You okay, Kens?" Callen asked her. "I'm fine. What's the plan?" Kensi asked.

"At this point we are still trying to come up with a plan." Callen told me and Kensi. "Send me in as bait." I was surprised when Kensi suggested this.

After she had told me what happened in her dream.I knew I wasn't the only one when everyone else looked at at her in surprise as well I was suprised.

"Kens, it could get dangerous...we don't know what this person dose once they are captured." Callen replied.

"We have to do something and I knew the dangers of becoming a Fedeal Agent the day I started to work at it. It makes since...my dad was a marine. Marty and I could..." Kensi began and . "All right." Callen finally agreed.

"Your dream won't come true." I murmured in her ear, because I had seen how scared I was after suggesting we use me and him as bait. "I hope not." Kensi replied looking at me and for a moment it seemed as though we were the only two in the room.

I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. I didn't think about anyone not know that Kensi and I had started dating.

"Okay, so what do we do now?" I asked looking around at everyone. "You get to go to the beach. That's where he found his last victims..." Callen explained what would happen.

After a few minutes the plan was set and we headed for the beach. I was really hoping I was right and this wouldn't turn out like what she had told me about her dream.

**Kensi's ****P.O.v.  
The Beach...**

We got to the beach after getting a blanket to sit on and lunch. Then we sat to wait knowing it was only a matter of time.

As Marty and I talked about everything except our relationship change, because we knew that Sam and Callen could hear us. We kept an eye out...

I noticed someone in a blue hooded sweatshirt, which was werid because it was a hot day.

"Don't look, but do you see that person in the blue hooded sweatshirt?" I muttered. "Y..." Marty began and the person must have made us, because the person took off running.

After calling it to the others...Marty and I took off after the person I assumed was a man.

Marty was ahead of me and it scared me, because of everything else that had happened in my dream...was happening now.

I heard a gunshot and caught up just in time to see Marty fall to the ground. Running over I dropped to my knees beside him. The person aimed their gun at me ready to shoot...


	6. A Nightmare That Can't Come True

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 6: A Nightmare That Can't Come True...**

**Kensi's ****P.O.v.  
The Beach...**

A gun shot rang out and I saw Callen holding his gun. The suspect dropped to the ground after being shot in the head.

"Eric, we need an ambulance now!" Callen yelled.

Marty was losing blood fast.

"Come on, Marty! Stay with me!" I begged.

It seemed forever, but the ambulance finally arrived.

"Kensi, go with him!" I heard Callen tell me, but didn't take my eyes off Marty.

Finally when I did, I looked over to our suspect and by this time the hood had been pulled off our... it was a women. I knew she had not pulled all of this off by herself, but right now all I cared about was Marty and the hope he would survive.

It seemed to take a while as they prepared Marty for transport.

I followed refusing to let go of Marty's hand until we got into the ambulance.

Only when we got in the ambulance did I finally let go ofMarty's hand. Sitting back I watched while they worked to keep him from losing more blood then he already had.

I barely heard anything, never taking my eyes off him. It was like I was under a spell..

I was surprised when I realized we had arrived at Pacific Beach Medical Hospital and I followed as far as they would let me.

**PACIFIC BEACH MEDICAL...**

Then made my way to the waiting room...

My nightmare had come true so far, but he wasn't lost yet.

I just hoped he would keep fighting.

I couldn't sit still and I wanted to tell Marty I was sorry...

Because if I hadn't suggested sending Marty and I undercover to the beach...

He would not be fighting for his life right now and none of this would have happened.

It seemed it had been longer then just this morning since we had talked, worked out our 'thing' and decided to be together.

Now there was a chance he could...

No! I couldn't think like that! He had to make it, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he died.

I wouldn't be able to go on without him...

I wanted to see his blue eyes...  
His smile...

I wanted to...

Bicker and the banter with him the way we always do when we are together...  
I wanted him to call me...

'Fern, Princess, babe, wonder women, wikipedia, Sugar Bear and any of the other nicknames he came up with for me.'

I may act annoyed with the nicknames, but really I love it. Because it tells me how much he really cares.

I wanted to...

Fight and then find ways to make up...

It had taken a few years to see what had been in front of us all along...what everyone had seen from the beginning.

Our 'thing'

How right Marty and I were for each other.

I didn't want to lose what we had not had a chance to have yet.

I don't know how long I had been pacing, but I looked up to see five people enter the waiting room.

Callen, Sam, Hetty, Nell and Eric.

"Have you heard anything yet, Kens?" Sam asked and I just shook my head, because I had a lump in my throat so big I couldn't talk.

It was a few hours later though it seemed like days when...

"Is there anyone here for, Martin Deeks?" The doctor asked and the six of us made our way over to him.

"Is he okay?" I asked and was afraid of the answer.

The doctor didn't answer right away and I was afraid my nightmare had come true.

I was trying to be strong...trying not to break down. I couldn't break down, because I had to be strong and I would not let any of the team see me cry.

No one knew what Marty and I had talked about this morning. I couldn't tell them that Marty and I were together. Marty had to be beside me when I told them.


	7. Good News Or Bad News

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 7: Good News Or Bad News...**

**Kensi's ****P.O.v.  
PACIFIC BEACH MEDICAL...**

_**PREVIOUSLY...**_

_It was a few hours later though it seemed like days when..._

_"Is there anyone here for, Martin Deeks?" The doctor asked and the six of us made our way over to him. _

_"Is he okay?" I asked and was afraid of the answer. _

_The doctor didn't answer right away and I was afraid my nightmare had come true._

_I was trying to be strong...trying not to break down. I couldn't break down, because I had to be strong and I would not let any of the team see me cry. _

_No one knew what Marty and I had talked about this morning. _

_I couldn't tell them that Marty and I were together, because Marty had to be beside me when we told them._

**NOW...**

Just a little while ago the doctor came out and said that Marty had pulled through the surgery to remove the bullet from his shoulder. He also said they wouldn't be able to see him until morning.

So now I am watching the clock and waiting until I can go see for myself that he is okay. The time seemed to drag on.

Half an hour...  
An hour...  
Two hours...

It seemed to go on and I don't remember leaning my head back against the wall, but I must have at one point.

I woke up and looking at the clock...

Finally eight o'clock. I saw Nell with her head on Eric's shoulder, Callen and Sam not far away talking.

Hetty however was no where to be found and I was sure she had gone back to the Mission.

I got up and made my way to the nurses station.

"I want to see, Martin Deeks." I told the nurse when she looked up.

I knew Callen, Sam, Nell and Eric were right behind me. The nurse got up and we follwed her down the hall, then she told us only one at a time.

I had to go first...I had to see him.

When I looked into the room, it scared me. Seeing him laying there and not looking like Deeks.

I wanted to see him smile...  
Hear him joke...

I looked at Callen, Sam, Nell and Eric they seemed to understand that I had to go first.

"Go ahead, Kens." Callen told me, but I wasn't sure if I could go into the room by myself.

My feet felt frozen in place, finally I was able to move. I walked up the left side of his bed and took his hand in mine.

He was alive and that was all I cared about.

"Wake up, Deeks. What about what we talked about this morning? We've been work partners for a few years, but you have to wake up so we can be together. I'll be right back, because the rest of the team wants to see you, okay?" I asked, but there was no response.

I slipped my hand out of his and for a moment put it on the side of his face, before turning to walk out in the hall.

Once I walked out Callen went in next, then Sam, Eric and Nell. They all talked to him...then I went back into the room and took his hand in mine again.

I was waiting...waiting for him to wake up and I hoped it would be soon.


	8. You Lied, Deeks

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 8: YOU LIED, DEEKS...**

**Kensi's ****P.O.V.**

With my hand in his, I looked into his face...I kept seeing what happened just hours ago, again and again.

The sound of the gun, Marty falling to the ground and begining to lose blood fast. How I dropped beside him and begged him to stay with me.

My nightmare had come true and it was all my fault...

If I wouldn't have suggested using Deeks and I as bait...  
If we wouln't have been there...  
If I had been right beside him, instead of him just a little ahead of me as we chased our suspect...

The 'IF's plagued my mind.

One thing that could have been different and none of this would have happened.

He had lied...

_**"We'll make sure it dosen't turn out like your dream, okay?"**_

That's what he had told me, but it had happened anyway.

Slipping my hand out of his I placed my hand over his heart to feel it still beating.

"Dammit, Marty! How many times are you going to get shot? Why did you lie and say we would make sure this wouldn't turn out like my dream? It did, Marty! Everything that happened in my dream...It happened today! You have to wake up...you can't leave me now. After everything we've been through together...what we decided this morning...come on. WAKE UP!" I yelled keeping my one hand over his beating heart and slipping my other one into his.

I sat there a long time, though I'm not sure how long just watching him. Then I felt my eyes growing heavier, with my hand in his, I laid my head on the bed and fell asleep.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I know this is a short chapter, but longer ones are coming. I had to end this chapter here though, so I could continue the rest of the story.  
**


	9. Deeks, Wake Up

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 9: Deeks, Wake Up!**

**A Week And A Half Later...  
KENSI'S P.O.V.**

For the last week and a half I had spent as much time as I was allowed by Marty's side.

I knew after he had been shot jut a few inches from the heart...it would take time to heal, but I was hoping he would have been awake by now. I spent most days with my hand in his and just talking to him.

Nothing seemed to be working and I was beginning to wonder if he was trying to annoy me, because this is something he wold do to annoy me.

"Come on, Marty. It's been over a week now...what is taking you so long?" I asked and this wasn't the first time I had asked that question.

Each time I asked I guess I was hoping he would answer.

"Waiting for a kiss from a princess to wake me up." Came Marty's voice and when I looked at him.

He had a smile on his face that turned into a grimace.

"That only works in the movies, Deeks...You lied when you said what happened in my dream wouldn't come true." I told him feeling the anger, at the same time relief that he was finally awake.

When Marty laughed I wanted to hit him.

"Didn't mean to get shot, Fern and you said in your dream that I died. Of course if I'm dead...I'm looking at the most beautiful angel in the world." He asked giving my hand a squeeze and I could feel my anger fading a little bit.

"When you were shot you started to lose blood fast, I th...thought I was going to lose you." I told him no longer angry.

**DEEKS' P.O.V.**

"I'm here, Kens and I'm not going to leave you. I'm s..." I began. "I should be the one who is sorry. If I wouldn't have suggested using us as bait you never would have been shot." Kensi looking down at our interlocked fingers.

"Kensi, this is not your fault. All that matters is that I'm alive and we're together now, okay?" I asked her.

When she looked at me I could tell she was fighting back tears. Of course that could have been a trick of the light to, because badass Blye dosen't cry very often.

"I know and I'm glad you are okay." She told me. "Do I see tears in the eyes of, Kensi Marie Blye or is it my imagination?" I asked.

When Kensi glared at me, I just had to laugh. I was baiting her even though I knew it was dangerous, I couldn't resist.

Her glare at me was fading and I could see she was holding back a smile.

"Looks like, Shaggy is awake." Came Sam's voice from the door.

I looked over as Sam and Callen entered the room.

"Now it's turning into a party. We just need food..." I began with a grin. "No parties, Deeks." Kensi said from beside me. "Why? Are you going to give me a private party when I get out of here, Fern?" I asked.

"We come to visit and they have to start this. Why couldn't they just put a sign on the door to tell everyone to stay away?" Sam asked.

"Because this isn't a hotel." I said sitting up a little and felt a little pain. "Deeks, stop." Kensi told me. "What, Princess? Being who I am? I can't stop that...besides you know you love it." I told her. "Deeks..." There was a warning in her voice now.

"Something going on with you two?" Callen asked.

I grinned at Kensi before looking at Callen and Sam.

"I'm not sure, but I could think...ow. Kens!" I said when she gripped my hand a little to hard.

"Definietly something going on." Sam replied looking over at Callen.

Kensi looked at me and I could see the question in her eyes...a question she didn't want to say aloud.

"We might as well tell them, Princess." I said looking at her.

I saw the smirks on Sam and Callen's faces, they knew what was coming.

"The day M...Deeks and I went outside before the case. The two of us talked and..." Kensi began. "Kensi decided she couldn't resist my charm and good looks." I couldn't resist cutting in.

"Anyone could resist your looks, Marty." Kensi said and I looked at her to see a smile on her face. "Not everyone...you didn't." I reminded her, now I could feel my eyes growing heavy.

I have not been awake that long, but I was getting tired again and trying to fight the sleep.

"Get some sleep, Marty. I'll be here when you wake up." Kensi told me. "A beautiful angel by my side." I said as everything began to fade.

The last thing I heard was laughing from Callen and Sam.


	10. Just Another Nightmare

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 10: JUST ANOTHER NIGHTMARE...**

**DEEKS' P.O.V.**

_**DREAM * I was finally back at work after a couple of weeks and it felt great, but I had a feeling of dread that wouldn't go away.**_

_**We were out in the field and I heard a gun shot, I spun around...**_

_**I saw Kensi falling eyes closed . They never opened when she hit the ground.**_

_**A few gasp and she went still. I knew before I reached her side that she was gone and no matter what anyone tried to do...she was dead and not coming back.**_

_**It seemed forever before I reached her side and though she had stopped breathing, I began CPR to bring her back. Kensi lost so much blood and as Callen put pressure to the wound on her side. It did no good, the blood continued and now seemed to be flowing faster..**_

_**Finally Callen let up on the pressure, I put my hands over the wound not knowing why. I wanted to believe she could still be saved. **_

_**"Come on, Kens. Stay with me...please, Kensi...don't do this!" I begged through the tears as they began to fall..**_

_**Someone was pulling me away, I didn't want to move and I saw the paramedics out of the corner of my eye. **_

_**I wanted to get my hopes up that the paramedics could bring her back, the doctors at the hospital could save her...but I knew it wasn't possible.. **_

_**Sam said something I couldn't make out, probably telling the paramedics what they needed to know. **_

_**I tried to fight to return to Kensi's side, but Callen and Sam were holding me back..**_

_**Finally the fight seemed to be leaving me and I cried harder as it hit me at last...**_

_**Not caring at this point who saw me crying, because I had loved Kensi more then anything or anyone in this world. **_

_**How will I be able to live without her? * END DREAM**_

**KENSI'S P.O.V.**

Hours ago Marty had woke up and it was just a little while after that he went back to sleep.

I guess I must have fallen asleep, because something woke me up.

Marty was mumbling in his sleep and when he began to thrash around he hissed in pain. Tears coming down his face.

"Marty! Wake up, Marty! It's just a dream...I'm right here! Come on! Wake up!" I kept repeating with one hand in his and the other landing on the side of his face.

A doctor came in, just as Marty's eyes popped open and he looked around. When he saw me he started to relax a little.

**DEEKS' P.O.V.**

When I first heard Kensi's voice I wasn't sure what to think, because I had just seen her die before my eyes.

"Kens." I said looking at her and girpping her hand to make sure she was really there. "I'm here, Marty and I'm not going anywhere." Kensi told me and I grinned.

"Are you still going to give me that private party when I get home?" I asked and Kensi rolled her eyes. "I never said I w..." Kensi began. "Yeah, but you never said you wouldn't either." I reminded her wanting to forget my dream.

"Do you want to tell me about you're dream?" Kensi asked and now I did look away from her.

I looked around the room and I looked down at her hand still in mine.

How could I tell her about my nightmare?

"Marty? What happened? We have been there for each other for a long time, don't shut me out now." I heard Kensi say, but still did not say a word or look at her.


	11. Don't Push Me Away Now

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 11: Don't Push Me Away...NOW...**

**KENSI'S P.O.V.**

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Kens." Marty stated never looking up from our hands still together.

Though I knew what he was saying I had to ask...

"Do what, Marty?" I asked afraid of the answer.

He tried to pull his hand out of mine, but I wouldn't let go.

"US...you were right that night. We risk our lives in the field every day and if we're dating. We could get distracted and one of us would be...killed." He explained.

I could hear the fear in his and then I realized what he had been dreaming about.

"Marty, please look at me." I requested.

He tried to pull his hand away again and this time I let him. I reached up and putting my hand on the side of his face.

"Marty, please...look at me." I repeated and when he finally looked into my eyes.

I saw fear, saddness and pain.

"Don't try to ch..." Marty began.

"Why did you do this to me? You convince me to take a chance with you and now you want to break up? I fell in love with you...now you're going to shut me out and push me away because of a nightmare? Marty, if we let our nightmares control our lives we wouldn't leave the house. We wouldn't be able to live the lives we do." I told him feeling the tears.

"Kens, you're nightmare came true. I got shot and ended up here. What if it happens again and one of us dies?" Marty said looking at me.

I knew he was doing the same thing I had done that night.

"No, it dosen't work like that. You can't convince me to take a chance with you almost two weeks ago and then change your mind now out of fear. I got passed my fear of this same thing. What about what you told me? Was that a lie? You said:

'I'll never willing leave you or hurt you.'

You said you wouldn't hurt me...don't you realize that's what you're doing now? Marty, please don't do this. If this happens you will go back to the LAPD and I'll have lost another partner. I love you being my partner...no matter how annoying you can be sometimes." I told him my hand never leaving his face. "Fern, I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose you. If something ever happened." Marty eyes begging me to understand.

I wouldn't accept what he was trying to do to us.

"I can't let you go, Marty. Becuase I fell in love with you. Don't you understand? I love you and nothing will change that. Don't let this nightmare break us up...my nightmare didn't happen the way I saw it. You didn't die...you're here talking to me now and I'm greatful for that. Quit being so damn stubborn, Marty." I told him.

He gave me another defeated look, but this one was different. I could see a little of my partner there. The fear was still in his eyes, but I also saw hope.

"I love you to, Kens. We just have to be careful and make sure nothing happens to either of us. Because I can't live without you now." Marty told me and I leaned over to kiss him.

After a minute we pulled apart and I felt his hand in mine again.

"Why don't you lay down up here with me? That chair can't be to comfortable and I just want you with me." Marty said with an impish smile.

"Marty, we can't do what I know you're thinking here. We'd get caught." I told him. "That's half the thrill, Princess...the chance of being caught." He said his smile getting bigger. "No gonna to happen." I told him again. "Fine...we won't do that, but I still don't want you to sleep in that uncomfortable chair. Just lay up here with me a little while...please." Marty pleaded giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"You know Monty gives the puppy eyes, because he's a dog. Of course you do resemble the Shaggy Dog from that movie." I remarked with a smile of my own. "Hey, I like my hair like this. Besides you know that's one of the reasons you're attracted to me." Marty shot back. "I'm not to sure with all that hair. Do you have any on your back, because if you do...I think we would have to wax it off." I retorted.

"That would burn, Fern. You wouldn't want to see me hurt. Of course if you did that to me...you would have to through it to. Just to be fair. Come on, I'll move over and you can get on my right side." Marty presisted. "All right, but if you show any signs of pain. I'm getting up." I reluctantly agree. "Then I would be cold, because with you beside me. You'll always keep me warm...maybe when I get out of here we can have that private party." He suggested, still not letting go of the idea.

**DEEKS' P.O.V.**

Kensi glared at me.

"Do you want me to get in be..." Kensi stopped and I could help but grin even more, because I knew what she had been about to say. "Pushing to jump into bed with me and we've only had one date?" I joked and she almost hit.

I guess that my nightmare had scared me more then I was willing to admit. It made since though...Kensi's nightmare had partly come true and I couldn't stand the thought if my nightmare came true.

"One date. Well I guess that will be the only date, I better move on." I shot back with a smile. "Don't do that to me, Princess. Not after wha we just talked about...twice now." I said becoming serious. "I'm pretty sure there are more dates for us in the future." Kensi said her head landing on my shoulder.

I put my arm around her as she put her arm over my waist.

"I love you, Kensi." I whispered. "Love you to, Marty." Kensi muttered and after that I knew she was alseep.

"What do you think about getting married some day?" I asked knowing she was already asleep.

I would have to ask her some day, when we were both awake. I would find a special way to ask her, because Kensi is special to me. More then she will ever know or maybe she dose.

I watched her for a minute, before I felt my eyes closing and tried to fight it...tired of sleeping.

I knew with Kensi beside me I wouldn't have a nightmare and neither would she. I felt the world around me fading...


	12. A Secret To Tell Or A Secret To Keep

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it. **

**CHAPTER 12: A Secret To Keep Or A Secret To Tell...**

**DEEKS' P.O.V.**

I woke up with Kensi still beside me and her head still on my shoulder. I was watching her sleep and my thoughts began to wander.

I'm debating on something and I'm not sure what to do...

I mean everyone has a secret, right?

It could be a secret hard to keep, because of a surprise for someone...

Or

It can be a secret from your past that continues to haunt you...no matter which way you turn.

I have a secret and that's what I'm debating about.

I want to tell, Kensi, but at the same time I feel that by not telling her I'm protecting her. Even if she dosen't know it.

My secret?

A nightmare I cannot tell, because I'm afraid if I do. It will distract one of us in the field, then one or both of us could be killed.

Because if I lost her:

I would not be able to live.  
I would not be able to take another breath or live a day without her by my side.

I love her and so I feel like I can't tell her about my nightmare.

At the same time I know if I don't tell her, she will feel...

That I didn't trust her.

So what do you do when a situation like this comes up?

I almost jumped when I felt a hand on my cheek. I had not even realized that Kensi had woken up...

**KENSI'S P.O.V.**

When I woke up, Marty had been looking at me and looked like he was thinking hard about something...he didn't look like Marty Deeks with the expression of thinking hard about something on his face.

When I put my hand on his cheek, it seemed that was when he realized I was there.

"You okay?" I asked. "I'm great with you here." Deeks smiled looking at me, but it was a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Deeks..." I said.

When he looked away I was reminded of earlier...I knew there was something he wasn't telling me and I knew it had something to do with his nightmare.

"I don't know that I can tell you...something might happen." Marty said at last. "Marty, you can't be afraid to tell me something...just you're afraid of what might happen. If you don't tell me what's wrong...how are we supposed to trust each other? I trust you, remember? I thought you tr..." I began and Marty's head snapped his eyes meeting mine once more.

"I do trust you, Princess. I trust you more then anyone else in this world." Marty told me taking my hand in his. "Then...tell...me." I pressed and heard him sigh. "Remember that nightmare I was having?" Marty asked and I nodded. "Yes. Something happened to scare you, didn't it?" I asked and he nodded.

I again saw fear and pain.

"You died, Kens. I lost you." Marty whispered and I saw the tears. "I'm right here, Marty and I'm not going anywhere, okay?" I tried to reassure him. "In my dream...

I was out of the hospital for a few weeks and it felt great to be back at work. Working with you again. We were out in the field when I heard a gun shot...I turned around, but it was to late yo-you had been shot.

I saw you fall to the ground eyes closed, but they never reopened. There was a couple of gasp and you were gone...yo-you died, Kens. I tried to bring you back with CPR as Callen put pressure to your wound. The blood came faster and after a minute Callen took pressure off the wound. I put my hands to your wound and begged you to stay with me.

I felt someone pulling me away, I didn't want to move. When I saw the paramedics I was sure they could save you and so could the doctors at the hospital.

I heard Sam say something and I tried to fight to get back to your side. Callen and Sam held me back.

I lost you, Kensi. You died and I couldn't save you." Marty said and now I understood.

Now the tears were streaming down his face.

"Marty, I told you that I'm right here." I repeated and then I gave him a kiss on the lips.

I felt Marty's hands began to wander and pulled back.

"What?" He asked and I could tell he was trying to act inoccent. "Nice try, Marty. But I told you that's not happening here." I replied. "And yet you were the one to kiss me, Fern." He reminded me a smile returning to his face. "I didn't kiss you to start that. We are not doing that here." I told him, repeating something similar to what I had already told him.

He seemed to get a thoughtful look on his face and then looked at me again.

"Fine, a pri..." He began and I rolled my eyes. "Would you shut up about the idea of a private party?" I asked. "No, because I like the idea." He shot back. "Well, if you don't shut up about it, Marty...I'll leave you here all alone." I stated trying to hold back a smile of my own.

This time he kissed me, before I pulled back and started to get up.

"Where are you going, Kens?" Marty asked not letting go of my waiste. "I need to get up and stretch." I said moving his hand from my waiste and getting up. "It's going to be cold here without you." Marty claimed with a pout. "Deal with it." I quipped with a smile. "You're mean, Princess." He responded and I just laughed.

"I can't stay in b..." I realized what I was saying and shut up. "You can't stay in bed with me all day? Or is it you just don't want to stay in the hospital bed with me? How about when I get out of here?" Marty suggested waggling his eyes brows and I rolled my eyes. "Enough, Marty." I stated as he took my hand. "I'm glad you wouldn't let me give up on us." He replied with a serious face. "I couldn't let you get away with it. You convinced me and it was my turn to remind you." I explained meeting his eyes.

It seemed for a long time we just stared at each other.


	13. My Heart Will Go On

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES...**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it?**

**CHAPTER 13: MY HEART WILL GO ON...**

**MARTY'S HOSPITAL ROOM...**

**TWO DAYS LATER...**

**KENSI'S P.O.V.**

"Hey..." I said setting a bag of clothes on the bed and Marty turned away from where he was standing beside the window to look at me. "Here to break me out, so we can go to the beach?" Marty asked with a grin.

"The beach? What if I had other plans?" I teased. "Then you could just drop me off at the beach, but it wouldn't be the same without you there, Fern." Marty retorted.

"Stop calling me, Fern." I told him, trying to sound annoyed. "Nope. Not gonna happen...Fern." Marty said grabbing his bag and heading for the bathroom.

"I said to stop calling me, Fern!" I yelled, but he had already closed the door to the bathroom.

"Come on, Princess, you know you like all the names I have for you..." Marty called through the door. "Just hurry up, so we can get out of here." I called back.

"Anxious to get me out of here? Is there a reason?" Marty questioned as the door to the bathroom opened and he stepped out."Nope...no reason." I told him.

The truth was that since we had decided to do something about our thing, is the same day Marty got shot and we had not even been on an offical date yet.

Being undercover that day at the beach didn't count, because...

I wanted a real date with, Marty Deeks.

"Ah, but I think there is, Agent Blye. Going to take me home and..." Marty began. "If you say one word about that damn private party...I will leave you here." I warned and he smiled.

"I didn't say a word...but, you did. Well, if that's not the plan. Then we can go to the beach." Marty suggested, before pressing his lips to mine.

**MARTY'S P.O.V.**

At first Kensi resisted me, then I felt her arms go around me neck.

It was then I pulled back...

Before Kensi had showed up I had already signed my discharge papers.

"And you didn't deny that you like all the names I have for you." I stated as she punched me in the shoulder. "Are you ready to go?" Kensi asked. "So where are we headed, Sugar Bear?" I inquired, throwing my arm over her shoulders.

"Well, we'll stop by the kennel and pick up Monty. Then I guess the three of us can head back to my house." Kensi told him. "Your house? Why not my apartment?" I asked. "Why your apartment?" Kensi countered. "Th-there's something I've been working on there. It's not perfect yet, but..." I wanted to show her something I had been working on for months, but I wanted it to be a surprise.

"What have you been working on?" Kensi asked. "Something for you..." I said looking at her. "Are you going to tell me?" Kensi asked. "If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise...would it? I know you don't want me to spoil the surprise..." I shot back with a grin, I saw a look of curiosity and finally she agreed.

**A LITTLE WHILE LATER...**

"What could be better then this?" I asked, as we walked into my apartment. "Maybe a beer and you telling me what the surprise is..." Kensi suggested. "Okay, I'll get the beers and surprise, but you have to go sit on the couch and close your eyes..." I said. "Close my eyes?" Kensi repeated. "Yup, I think you might like this surprise. Go on..." I said, steering her toward the couch.

I watched Kensi sit down, then went to get the beers and sat them on the coffee table in front of her.

Making sure she had her eyes closed, I then head toward my bedroom closet where I had put it...

"Keep your eyes closed, Princess." I warned as I headed down the hall.

**MARTY'S BEDROOM...**

I opened the door to my closet finding the sheet of music and my Violin. I had been practicing for months, but I wasn't sure if I would ever play it for her.

"Marty! I'm not going to sit here all night with my eyes closed!" I heard Kensi yell from where she was sitting on the couch and chuckled.

Taking a deep beath I picked up the sheet of music and my Violin, then headed back to the living room.

**THE LIVING ROOM...**

"Keep your eyes closed just a little longer, okay?" I asked and setting the sheet of music down.

I got my Violin ready, then started to play. As I played the first notes I heard Kensi gasp and her eyes shot open.

"Marty..." Was all she said as I continued to play the song of My Heart Will Go On.

"I-I've been working on that for a while. I didn't know if I would ever get to play it for you..." I confessed.

"You said you played the violin when you were a kid, but I didn't know you still played. Marty that was...amazing. How long have you been working on that?" Kensi inquired standing up.

I put the Violin and bow back in the case that I had sat on a chair.

"About a year...You really thought that was amazing?" I asked. "Dose it look like I'm lying?" Kensi asked and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her lips to mine.

"I guess we're done running from our 'thing' and nightmares, huh?" I asked pulling back.

"I guess we are and thank you for my surprise." Kensi said as she kissed me again.

This kiss seemed far different from any kiss we had shared so far. Since we finally admitted our 'thing' or even what Kensi had once called a cover kiss.

It was less then a minute later Kensi pulled back and taking my hand began to lead me down the hall to my room.

**MARTY'S BEDROOM...**

**KENSI'S P.O.V.**

"Are you sure you want to this?" Marty asked looking into my eyes, I could see his eyes were filled with the same desire I had for him. "We've been playing a game of teasing each other for to long. So I'm sure..." I declared and started to unbutton his shirt.


	14. The Next Morning

**NCIS: LOS ANGELES...**

**I Can't Keep Running...**

**DISCLAIMER:**

**NCIS: Los Angeles and chacters do not belong to me. **

**SUMMARY:**

**I run faster and faster...wanting to run away from the horrors of my past.  
Marty Deeks hides his past behind a mask, but when it begins to interfere with his work...How will he deal with it?**

**CHAPTER 14: THE NEXT MORNING...**

**MARTY'S BEDROOM...**

**THE NEXT MORNING...**

**KENSI'S P.O.V.**

I woke up with my face in the crock of his neck, one arm over his waist and one of my legs between his. When I moved back to look at his face, I had to grin when I noticed that Marty's nose was twitching.

He had told me when we were undercover as Justin and Melissa, that his nose twitched when he was happy.

The grin on my face grew bigger when I thought about what he had done last night.

First surprising me with playing the song of My Heart Will Go On with his Violin and then the two of us making love.

'Whoa...making love? I guess that's what it was, because it wasn't just another night of sex for me. It was an amazing night with my partner...

My best friend and now I guess he was my lover as well.'

I couldn't believe how far we had come since we first met.

I remember back to when Ib thought there was no way I could work with him and then to the day I started trusting him.

Sometime over the last few years we had gone from being put together as partners by Hetty, to finally trusting each other...

To at some point me falling in love with him.

Though I had my reasons for never making the first move to tell him that I was in love with him.

I had been afraid of him leaving me as Jack had done, or if we got into a relationship we would be distracted in the field and one of us could be killed.

But as Marty said last night...

_**FLASHBACK ***_

_**"I guess we're done running from our 'thing' and our nightmares, huh?' **_

_*** END FLASHBACK**_

Marty was afraid to take this chance with us to, but now we were both done running.

"Looks like you thinking hard about something..." Came a voice and it was only then I realized Marty was awake. "I was just thinking about last night..." I answered.

"Last night? Did something happen last night?" He teased. "You know what happened last night, Marty." I shot back. "Nope, don't remember. Maybe you could remind me." Marty shot back with a grin and I kissed him.

"Okay, now I'm starting to remember..." Marty replied, with his lips still against mine, I felt his hand going down my body until he slipped a finger inside me.

"Ma-Marty..." I moaned and I felt myself bucking against his hand. "You like that, huh? Is this what you were thinking about?" He inquired. "Y-yes, faster!" I yelled and he complied.

**A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER...**

**MARTY'S P.O.V.**

I was now laying on my side facing Kensi.

"When we were undercover as Justin and Melissa...Do you know how many cold showers I had to take or how hard it was waking up next to you and not doing anything?" I asked and Kensi nodded.

"Actually I do..." Kensi told me and I looked at her. "Really? So you did want me when we were undercover?" I asked and Kensi rolled her eyes. "When we went to bed and night and when I woke up in the morning I had to stop myself..." Kensi told me.

"You could have taken advantage of me at any time..." I said suggestively and she slugged me in the shoulder. "I wasn't sure how you felt and I didn't want to mess up our partnership." Kensi replied.

"That kiss you said was just a cover kiss?" I asked. "I had been wondering what it would be like to kiss you for a while before that and it was the only thing I could think of at the time to stop us from getting caught." Kensi told me.

"So how long have you been wanting all of this?" I questioned and waved a hand down my body and Kensi rolled her eyes. "There was something about you when we first met and I couldn't figure out what it was..." Kensi stopped and I stared at her.

"Since you were Tracy and I was Jason Wyler?" I asked in surprise. "I'm not sure when my feelings for you started to change from friendship to something more." Kensi admitted and I took her hand.

"For me I think it was when we met. I may not have known at first who you were, but I knew you couldn't be one of Danny's girlfriends." I confessed. "What makes you think I couldn't have been one of Danny's girlfriends?" Kensi asked and I grinned. "Way to hot for him..." I said with a grin.

"Way to hot to be Danny's girlfriend? Or was it the fact you were undercover with the LAPD and hoping?" Kensi inquired rasing an eyebrow. "Maybe that to, Princess." I admited.

That was when our phones rang...

"It's OPS..." Kensi said looking at her phone. "Hey, Eric..." I listened as Eric told me that we were needed at OPS.

Some new information had come up on the case...


End file.
